Koko: After Slothrop's homophobic outburst in April, I vowed not to post on tennis. I'll break my promise just this once because while we're on the subject of Germans, uh, Tommy Haas, etc. Besides, if we've degenerated to posting on fantasy baseball rivalries (as we should), then I think I can sneak a tennis post with impunity.So. Last year at Indian Wells in his quarterfinal match against Haas, Andy Murray rolled his ankle badly in the second set, took a nasty spill, and lay there baking on the hardcourt like a lanky Abe Lincoln in a Head hat. Haas, who knows all too well the indignity of ankle-rolling, having split his own ankle wide open during a warm-up at Wimbledon, rushed over to the gangly Scot to offer his assistance. For five straight minutes Tommy stayed with him, disposable among the trainers and vague medical types, calmly elevating his opponent's leg and assuring him that chicks dig skinny athletes with broken ankles.
Then, after his permitted three-minute injury timeout expired, Murray returned to the court, kicked Tommy's ass, and screamed unintelligible things that must have been obscenities at Brad Gilbert, his coach. The crowd exploded with pleasure and Tommy Haas returned to Germany, discarded, well, like an athlete. Tennis is a funny game.
Slothrop: Slothrop would like to apologize for what seemed to Koko (she's just sensitive, is all) like a homophobic outburst against tennis and her tennis blogs. This, of course, is not true, as tennis cock is supremely important to Slothrop, and the more of it we have, the better we will sleep at night. In fact, Slothrop would like to put in a request, if he may, for thorough updates on the French open, where Slothrop's Swiss doppelganger will win his first championship on le surface crapuleux.
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